To say 2017 was an eventful year would be an understatement. Honestly, when I look back at the year, I can barely grasp how far God has taken us and how deep His love is for us. From trips, to moving, to job, school and relationship changes, it has been an interesting and often trying time.
When I walked into 2017, I didn't know what to expect. How would our grief be in this new year? What would homeschooling be like? Where would we go? What would our future look like? When I look back at 2017, I see one word interwoven throughout the year: growth. Growth physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally and growth for our future. 2017 was the year that we stepped out in faith and begun homeschooling. I was terrified and not sure how I would teach Kaitlyn anything, let alone help her with math and science. Yet, God provided again and again, from our co-op, to friends who guided me, to a child that was very receptive and disciplined. It hasn't been easy, but it was just what we needed for this season. 2017 also saw us move, renovate, downsize and focus on the fact that stuff isn't important. It has completely transformed our view of possessions and material things. This move also helped me a great deal with my control issues. There were SO many things out of my control and it truly made me rely on God and not try to figure it out alone. When the inspection didn't go as planned, when the renovations took longer than expected, when the downstairs flooded, I had a choice to make; let it ruin me or let it grow me. 2017, also saw me dating again. Though, I'll spare you the details, let's just say this was one of the hardest parts of the year for me. I learned a lot about trusting in God's plan and not relying on my own understanding. I also learned that God has far better plans for us than we could ever hope or imagine and He was working on my behalf even when I didn't know it. I'm happy to say that God has been by me and Kaitlyn each step of this journey and He blessed us with the right person, at the right time. God is good! Most importantly, 2017 has helped me grow closer to God and has completely transformed my view of Him. I never allowed myself to be angry at God after Darren died, however I did wonder and question why and what I had done to deserve this. This attitude seeped into the choices I made. I didn't believe that He always wanted the best for me. I didn't believe I was worthy. I thought I could figure it out on my own and let me just tell you there were some dark days when I tried to go at it alone. God brought me back from this darkness. He pursued me and never stopped pursuing me. He reminded me that he loved me recklessly and only wants the best for me. He loves me and He will never forsake me or Kaitlyn. So, as we are all faced with a new year and a clean slate, I want to ask you one question: Are you allowing God to pursue you? Are you turning to Him for the answers or like I've done too many time are you trying to figure it out on your own? I'm going into 2018 believing that God has an incredible plan for my life. I'm believing and holding onto His promises for our future. I'm allowing Him to love me recklessly even when I fail or stumble. I pray that you can embark on this new year remembering who and what God is and what plans He has for you. Below is a song that is very dear to my heart. I love being reminded that God never gave up on me and He did everything to help restore me and bring me to Him. He loves us all recklessly and may we not forget that in this new year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLFak6N04GY
0 Comments
|
Amy C.A young widow searching and sharing God's goodness. Archives
June 2018
Categories |